Funny Pages.

^^^^^Dukey^^^^^

stikman wrote:^^^^^Dukey^^^^^ Laughing

So true

JamieWhincup#1 wrote:

stikman wrote:^^^^^Dukey^^^^^ Laughing

So true

+1 ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NoRecoil wrote:

JamieWhincup#1 wrote:

stikman wrote:^^^^^Dukey^^^^^ Laughing

So true

+1 ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA dukeyyyyyyy!

That fat kid should go for a walk and burn some of that energy off.

Pick him up, dump him in the middle of Iraq and say "Welcome to the real world silly person. Have fun!"

Chris (OD)

a cool film i talked about earlier

road rage gone wrong hahaha!!

Lookout! Angry fat driver alert! heheh.

OD, Did you get a new sponsor? (or was it CJ?)

No, he likes Alf. Alf and I like pussy.

hehe.

only if!

mcrow5 wrote:

do u guys have a camera in my room ?

Had to post this up.. its gold.. and now proud when my miss's calls me a monkey.. next time i will show her monkey lol

^^^^^^^ = Fail

Skip to 0:31 - Oh Yeah!!!

LOL at the driver "chill out!" " open your eyes". if it where me in there id have the biggest smile on my face

guessing this is the jokes thread


And God Created New Zealand ...


God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God and I've put life on it… I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an island and said, "What's that one?"

"That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from New Zealand are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance..."

God smiled, "Close to New Zealand is Australia. Wait till you see the idiots I put there

Don't start stoner - we're WAAY out numbered here

Stolen from therock.co.nz


My neighbour pops his head over the fence again and says, “I want you to kill my wife for me, I’ll pay you $10,000.” I accept, telling him all it will take is one bullet, just below the left tit. He looks at me and says, “I want her dead – not f***ing knee-capped!”

Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “f*** that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”

I found my dyslexic mate covering his diddle with boot polish on the early hours of Sunday morning at the conclusion of daylight saving..... I said, “You idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!”

What’s the difference between a refugee and ET? ..... ET looked better, smelled better, learnt English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own f***ing bike and wanted to go home!

A guy gets a call from the police telling his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they f***ed my wife after only five cans!”

Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? My missus kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!”

Was shagging this bird over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have legged it – but you don’t get offers like that every day.

God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. The man says he’ll try. God visits him a week later to see how he’s getting on. “Not bad” says the man, “I’ve given up drinking and smoking, but when the wife bent over the freezer, I had to f*** her up the arse.” “They don’t like that sort of thing in Heaven” said God. The man replied, “They’re not too f***ing happy about it in Woolworths either!

Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the f*** out of this bloke at a party. In my defence..... when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in.

How does every ethnic joke start? With a look over your shoulder.

My wife just came in to me and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going.” I said to her, “Judging by the look on your face, you’re going – ‘cos when you’re coming, you look like a f***ing Down Syndrome kid trying to whistle!”

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I rooted a sheila called Penny – spooky or what?

The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?” Apparently “Only to stop myself coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.

FrankTank wrote:Don't start stoner - we're WAAY out numbered here

bit of light hearted fun mate, looks like i maybe moving there shortly anyway, and the grief you get in party chat geezus

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A) 1 litre of 2% fat reduced milk
B) Dozen fresh eggs
C) 250ml bottle of orange juice
D) a head of lettuce
E) 500 gm jar of coffee
F) 250 gm pack of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single..'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct, but how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.